Resignation

I wish I could tender my resignation as an adult. While the thought of living through puberty and my first breakup again is enough to have me wincing in pain at the thought… it doesn’t change the fact that I would love to accept the responsibilities of my five-year-old self again.

- I want to go to McDonald's and consider it an elite restaurant equivalent to a five-star bistro
- I want to sail my Barbies across a fresh mud puddle and have Ken save them from the approaching tidal wave
- I want to stash tokens from arcades in my pockets, thinking that they will someday pay for my college tuition because THEYMUSTBEPUREGOLD!
-I want to climb a big tree and watch the ants follow me up its trunk.
- I want to run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer day, only to drink it all before having any customers
- I want to make decisions based on “Eeny, meeny, miney, mo”
- I want to go fishing and care more about saving the bait than catching the big bass in the lake.
- I want to live at an age where War was a card game
- I want to think that the answer to all of life’s problems lies within my parents arms
- I want to return to a time when the most challenging thing was memorizing my multiplication tables.
- I want to think that a quarter is worth more than a dollar bill because it is shiny and pretty and weighs more.
- I want to be excited by Disney movies again
- I want to believe that a kiss can make the boo-boo disappear

So......here. Take my checkbook, my car keys, my pepper spray, my credit cards, my Roth IRA, my stocks, my collections, my insurance premiums, my job, my apartment and the rent, my bills, my e-mail address, cell phone, laptop, and digital voice recorder. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to talk me out of this—if you want to sit me down and talk to me reasonably and maturely, you'll have to catch me first
cause........

TAG! You're it!